Refined by Fire by Brian Birdwell & Mel Birdwell & Ginger Kolbaba

Author:Brian Birdwell & Mel Birdwell & Ginger Kolbaba [Birdwell, Brian & Birdwell, Mel & Kolbaba, Ginger]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: BIOGRAPHY & AUTOBIOGRAPHY / Religious, RELIGION / Inspirational
ISBN: 9781414328973
Publisher: Tyndale House Publishers, Inc.
Published: 2004-07-01T04:00:00+00:00

Eleven

Tough Questions

* * *

Journal 9/28/01

Today was the first time I saw his left arm where the unburned skin ended and the exposed muscle began. I think this is the first time I’ve been angry at the evil people who did this to him. What kind of evil could have done this to my precious husband?

* * *

Mel

A week or so after Brian became coherent, he began asking questions. He asked if he still had a military career and if anyone had mentioned medical retirement. I had to tell him about the first night and the issues with Walter Reed. I was so glad I was able to assure him he was still a soldier.

He lay quietly for a few minutes as tears filled his eyes. Finally he looked at me and mouthed, “Thank you.” That made up for the stress of that first night. We agreed we’d fight medical retirement with everything we could muster.

He also asked questions about his medical care. He was concerned that the correct amount of medication be given to him. He was unable to communicate clearly and was afraid the hospital staff would forget to do something important for his care. I tried to answer all his questions as best I could and told him that I was being truthful with him. I assured him over and over that we were in this for the long haul and we would get through it together. That seemed to bring him comfort.

I would look at my once strong, handsome husband, now reduced to a bundle of bandages and unable to do anything for himself, and I would become angry. Angry at the circumstance. Angry over the impact a killer’s sin would have on my innocent husband, son, and me. Angry that I was forced to watch as other innocent family members and victims had to receive dire news day after day.

I read an article in the Washington Post on December 2, 2001, that summed it up:

[Victims] lost pieces of their skin, patches of their hair, parts of their ears, and entire fingers. They lost the use of their lungs. They lost days—many, many days—when instead of eating dinner with friends or raking leaves in the yard, they lay in bed, attached to blinking monitors.

That became our world. And it was so fragile. Between the infections, debridements, and surgeries there were many chances for him to die, even after we had so much hope. I felt as though we couldn’t get past the all-clear mark.

I thought about Antoinette Sherman’s needless death and the torture her family would endure for the rest of their lives.

I thought about the other patients who had to have parts of their bodies amputated.

Unfair didn’t even begin to describe their circumstances. September 11 was a huge reminder that life isn’t fair.

One day I went to the Post Exchange, a retail store on a military base or post, to buy a new pair of tennis shoes. While I was in the store, I felt this

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